Ten Things I Think I Think About Parenting - The Fifth Month

Hello Friends and Family,

It is once again time for my monthly hot takes on parenting. As a reminder, each month for the first year of Mills’ life I am going to put some initial thoughts down about parenting in real time.

I might be completely wrong about some or all of these, but here’s where I am today after five months.

Ten Things I Think I Think About Parenting After Five Months

1. We never took official 4 month pictures. For a brief moment I felt like I had missed something that I can’t get back and would regret for the rest of my life.
   
   I also have about 3,000 pictures of him on my phone from that month, so I think we will all be okay if he’s not holding the official 4 month placard.

2. Airplanes are public transportation, babies are allowed on public transportation. Babies are also allowed to fly first class. If you don’t want babies on your flight, you should fly private.

3. It really does take a village to raise a child. The amount of help and support we have received from family, neighbors, and friends has been incredible.
   
   I am someone who has a very difficult time admitting I need help, so thank you for not asking and just doing for me when it is clear I need help.

4. We should all try to be more like babies. Mills doesn’t worry about anything, Mills is just happy to be with us, Mills doesn’t mind if he plays with the same toy for a month.
   
   Mills also doesn’t care about our work stress. No matter how big I might think the problems I have might be, the reality is that our little family is enough to weather them all.

5. I should have believed my friend Conor when he told me I would do things for and with Mills that I swore I would never do. I’m not a big fan of Halloween, I have never liked dressing up.
   
   But, we made Mills his own little costume and I even dressed up for a night of fun in Brookhaven.

6. I have seen various posts with themes of: “Time is a Thief”, “Slow down time”, or “Stop growing up.” I refuse to entertain these themes, even in a light hearted way. Our words matter, even words said in jest.
   
   I want the theme of my parenting to be: “Soak in every moment as it happens”, “Enjoy every change in stage of life”, or “Don’t miss today while wishing for the past”.

7. Whatever you do with your kids is normal to them. Mills thinks it’s normal to drive across the country. He’s now done that drive 3 times. (more on that next week!).
   
   It is so easy to get caught up in what the books say about schedules and routines, but our life has never been scheduled and routine. So, Mills has had to learn how to sleep in all sorts of hotels, AirBnBs, family homes, and of course his carseat.

8. It is hard to balance protecting Mills without OVER-protecting Mills. It is RSV/Flu season and Mills is still just a baby with a brand new immune system. We have had to think a lot about where we go, who we allow to hold him, etc. That has led to some unintentional hurt feelings, but we are ALWAYS going to make the right decision for us.
   
   On the flip side, I’m not worried about not making him wear socks when it's a little cold outside and we are just going to be outside for a short time. Likewise, I don’t always put a coat on him when it’s actually cold and we are just going from warm house to warm car to warm house.

9. Start modeling what you want your child to learn from your actions before they are old enough to actually notice it. Courtney and I have been very intentional about the words we use when Mills has an achievement. He doesn’t understand us now, but we want to get in the habit of praising his EFFORT.
   
   We believe with all of our hearts that effort is the one thing he will have complete control over. So we tell him over and over that we are proud of how hard he tried to roll over, how we are proud that he worked hard to get back to sleep on his own, and how we can see how hard he was trying when he figured out how to grab his toys.
   
   By building that habit now it will be a reflex for us when it really matters.

10. Kids need less intervention from parents and more self discovery. Mills gets frustrated sometimes when he can’t quite grab a toy, but instead of helping him…I let him struggle.
    
    Not too long, but long enough for him to try different ways of getting what he wants. Sometimes he figures it out, sometimes he falls apart, but every time I give him a chance to learn a little more about the world around him.
    
    And hopefully, these early lessons begin to build his confidence that he has the ability to figure things out on his own.

Next week’s newsletter is going to be FULL of new adventures! We have been traveling for two weeks!

Until our next Adventure,

Austin, Courtney, Mills, and Willow

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