Ten Things I Think I Think About Parenting After One Year

Hello Friends and Family,

It is once again time for my monthly hot takes on parenting. As a reminder, each month for the first year of Mills’ life I put some initial thoughts down about parenting in real time.

As hard as this is to believe we have reached Mills’ first birthday. I might be completely wrong about some or all of these, but here’s where I am today after one year.

Ten Things I Think I Think about Parenting after One Year

1. Parenting is not nearly as hard as everyone made it out to be. I can already hear you: “Just you wait…”
   
   You are wrong. Just as it is with marriage, the difficulty in parenting is ME. I am the hard part of parenting, Mills is learning, but I am a fully functioning adult. Just like in marriage, I am the problem.
   
   My selfishness, my expectations, my issues are the problem. I am responsible for all of the hard parts of parenting. I’m sure that will change as Mills becomes truly his own person, but for now…Parenting isn’t hard…not being selfish is hard.

2. Traditions and routines just happen, you can’t make them up, you just have to roll with it. A couple months ago I started taking Mills outside when I got home from work. We would sit on the front porch and just watch what happened in our neighborhood.
   
   It all started when I got home one day and Courtney was clearly overwhelmed. I just took Mills outside to give Courtney a few minutes of peace and quiet. As I picked him up I asked, “Do you want to go sit on the porch and watch the world go by?”
   
   And that was it…a new tradition was born. Since then I’ve done that everyday. Mills loves being outside, I love being outside, and this is just a perfect end to my work day.

3. The most sentimental things about being a parent are temporary and not easily preserved. A handprint on the refrigerator, hair that sticks straight up, the first sounds a baby makes as they start learning how to use their voice.
   
   Even pictures and videos don’t do these things justice. I would love to tell you about Mills saying, “Aaa-goooo”, but you wouldn’t understand. I’ll never forget it.

4. Whatever you do with your kids is what they will think is normal. Be intentional about it. We decided that we were going to be a camping, hiking, and now E-Bike family.
   
   We are buying an E-Cargo Bike that can haul all three of us around Denver and most dear to my heart, we can take Mills to school on a bike! He doesn’t know any different, carpool via bike is just going to be normal to him.

5. Don’t wait to do ANYTHING. So many people told us that our lives would be “over” when Mills was born. “Say goodbye to camping and roadtrips,” we were told.
   
   I am so glad we ignored those people. (See #4) Mills was with us on a road trip to Colorado in September, again in November, and again when we moved in December. To this day he’s a great car rider.
   
   We went camping even though it was near freezing outside. Why? Because THAT. IS. WHAT. WE. DO. He was fine! He loved the tent, loved the dirt and rocks, and loved snuggling with Mommy and Daddy.

6. Kids need a pet. I think I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating. GET YOUR KID A PET!! Mills and Willow are buds, best buds. There is nothing sweeter than watching Mills learn how to treat animals.
   
   He adores Willow and Willow adores him. Courtney is already in mourning because she knows eventually Willow is going to be Mills’ dog and she is going to want to sleep in his room rather than ours.

7. There is a real temptation to sacrifice everything for your kids, even your own passions. Do NOT do this. I believe that your kids need to see you pursue something that is meaningful to you.
   
   Even more, I believe that it makes me a better parent when I have an outlet that rejuvenates me.

8. Did I mention: Get your kids a pet!

9. The opportunity to choose Family or Work starts early. Choose family. I will never regret going in late to work to spend time with Mills at his school’s “Donuts with Dad”.

10. Time is not a thief and no one should beg time to slow down. I don’t know why, but it has become popular to lament the growth of children with the phrase: “Time is a thief” or “Time slow down”.
    
    Time isn’t the problem. We are.
    
    Over the last 12 months I have worked really hard at being in each moment. Allowing those moments to be enough. I get to choose each day whether or not I am present or not.
    
    I celebrate each milestone and cheer Mills on as he grows and changes from an infant into a little boy.

This wraps up my monthly posts about parenting. Rest assured that from time to time I will still offer up some thoughts on parenting. It has been the best year of our lives. I have learned more about myself than I ever thought I could at 43 years old.

I can’t wait to see what happens in the next 12 months.

Until our next Adventure,

Austin, Courtney, Mills, and Willow

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